Dear Expectant Parents:
My name is Pauline and I am an elementary school teacher. I am very active in theater where I dance, sing and act. I cannot wait to start my life with a child and I look forward to sharing wonderful moments like these in the future. I feel very strongly that this is the right time for me to be a parent.
I was named after both of my grandmothers. My first name came from my father’s mom and my middle name came from my mother’s mom. Both of my parents came from Sicily and I am first generation to be born and raised in America. I grew up with lots of relatives, traditions and a sheltered childhood that I wouldn’t change for the world. I grew up with two languages: Sicilian and English. I was thirteen years old when my brother Joey was born. I was just thrilled to have him around. He is now married and is an engineer. (Photo l to r: My mom, me, my brother Joey, and my dad)
Hobbies & Interests
I have performed and choreographed for many community theaters, high schools, children’s theater companies and one professional theater. I co-direct a children’s folk dance troupe and I continue to dance in the adult troupe.
Relationship & Family
In 2004, I met my boyfriend Dale. Dale has two children Taylor (born in 1996) and Abey (born in 2000). We have been together for over eight years and we lived together for about five years of that time. But because he lives an hour away the daily commute to work became very difficult. I bought a condo right by my school and we see each other on weekends and vacations. In the eight years we have been together we started our own traditions such as: making a handprint in cement every Father’s day, having riddles to search for presents on birthdays and writing a “New Years Note”. I love taking pictures and have taken thousands since we have been together. We spend lots of time making projects, going bike riding, fishing, doing puzzles and playing games. I have learned a lot about being a parent from Dale and he has learned a lot about child development from me.
I have two dogs. Hero is a twelve year old Lhasa Apso and Max is a 2 ½ year old black lab/boxer. I grew up with dogs and I just love the different personalities each one has had. Max usually stays up at Dale’s house since he has a large fenced-in yard and Hero comes with me to my condo.
Thoughts on Parenting
I believe one of the most important things about being a parent is being consistent, have age-appropriate expectations and setting clear boundaries. The hardest thing about being a teacher is trying to explain to parents that children need limits. I have been involved in children’s lives for a long time and I have seen what they desire the most: an involved parent. I encourage my students’ parents to spend time with their child. That is the greatest reward there is! I tell them playing a game, baking a cake and snuggling on the couch makes a greater impact than buying a toy.
One of my favorite poems is by John Gile, “Keeping First Things First.” It’s about a father who didn’t have time to shine his shoes because he heard his son crying. The last part of it goes like this:
“Some day my shoes will be in a scrap heap
and no one will care
whether they were ever shined.
But the love I gave my son this morning
will live on in him
and those he passes it on to.
No, I am not embarrassed
that my shoes aren’t shined.
They’re a sign that I’m learning
to keep first things first.”
I want to be the parent whose child knows that they are more important than shined shoes and spending time with them is more precious than anything else there is on this earth. When I look at how some of my friends’ parents were or how my students’ parents are I realize the biggest gift my parents gave me was unconditional love. My parents were always there for me and they would do anything they could for me, all I needed to do was ask. I never worried that I wouldn’t have a place to stay, food to eat or if someone was coming for me. That is the kind of parent I want to be.
I was born and raised Catholic. I continue to be Catholic now, but I did look into other religions such as Lutheran and Baptist. I went with friends to their churches and saw a Seventh Day Adventist service, a Jewish synagogue and I have talked to my Buddhist friend and questioned her about her religion. I believe everyone has to find out what is best for them. I would begin my child in a Catholic church and when they got older I would let them decide what they feel works for them.
I am very willing to have an open adoption. I believe it is very important for children to know their history. I would be willing to send letters, pictures and schedule visits every six months.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and I hope that if you have any questions we will meet soon when I can answer them in person.